29 September 2006


Makes me think of U2.
I was going to write a profound post about how writing confronts my pride in all forms, how my motivations are never truly pure (and hopefully never truly selfish). I was going to write to you about George. George is how I describe myself when my pride inverts to self-doubt. I compare, compare, compare. Let's be honest, I want to look good. Nothing against the name George. We have a fish named George. Chris calls him Blue Fish #1, but his name is George. My George is the "Which way did he go, which way did he go, George?" Dazed and confused. Downright scared that someone will think awful thoughts of me, like, man, what made her think she can write? Which means I'm focusing on pats on the back rather than following God and serving Him and loving others.
Good thing I'm not writing about that today.
Instead, I'm going to give you my October goals list. I've actually never had a montly goals list. Heck, I don't think I've ever had a goals list period. But here it is.
1. Finish my novel (which means putting the sheetrock on the frame and painting it; I'm okay if I still need to hang pictures and set-up furniture).
2. Polish a flash fiction entry for ACFW newsletter submission.
3. Send a short story to a journal.
4. Memorize all the words to La Vie Boheme from Rent. I'm about 95% of the way there. This is perhaps the most important goal on the list.
5. To learn Chopin's Grand Valse Brilliante on piano.

There you have it. You know, I don't like lists. In fact, looking at this makes me nervous. What if I can't do one or the other? And putting this here for all the world to see makes me feel naked. What if I submit and they say, yucky, yucky, yucky. Then someone asks, hey, did you submit? Then I have to lie. No, I didn't.
But I also want you to ask me about these things. Because I like to sit at my computer and write. I don't like to submit. Takes too much work.


willowtree said...

Sometime I just hate coming here. It makes me feel somehow unsophiscated. Your list for example makes mine look pretty ordinary:

1. Read the TV guide and highlight Oprah so you don't forget.
2. Take a shower sometime this week.
3. Don't forget to change underwear.
4. Stop leaving lists on people's blogs.

Michelle Pendergrass said...

Ok, listen. We all fail and screw up, so get over it.


Now your list looks pretty scary to me, but finishing a novel in a month for me is like Nano and I don't know if I like that so well. Stephen King says you should be able to finish one in a season. So I guess by December I should finish mine. IF I go by what he says.

And since I don't play any instrument, the task of learning any score has me sweating.

But if it'll make you feel better, I'll make a list, too.

Pamela said...

I'm with Willowtree
Maybe I'll
(1)finish READING a book
(2)Cut an ad out of the newspaper
(3)Tell a bedtime story to grkids
(4) remember what is on my grocery list ... or even remember my grocery list!!!
(5) Learn to switch the CD/DVD buttons on our entertainment center


Vicki said...

Okay, I'm dying to know...why is memorizing all the words to La Vie Boheme from Rent so important?

Vicki said...

Oh, I meant to tell you, you'd probably laugh at my list. It's an ongoing list that never gets completed;-)

Heather said...

She asks me why memorizing La Vie Boheme is so important? Rent is one of the bests shows around. I look at it and think, "Hey, it's me!" I may not have AIDS, which not all of the characters do, but I struggle with the belonging question and the significance question. Check out my post on Rent for more (see sidebar).
When La Vie Boheme comes on our stereo (which it often does), I have to dance around the house. It makes me cry (lines such as "to being an us, for once, instead of them" and "the opposite of war isn't peace; it's creation") and makes me happy.
Therefore, I have to learn all the words.
Plus I never learn all the words to anything, but I listen to this song so much I actually have a chance!

L.L. Barkat said...

La Boheme... breath-taking... my little kids did memorize all the kid-chorus words for a production last spring, so I'm thinking you've got a shot. Do you know italian?

Jessica said...

What a great goals list! I think setting goals for ourselves is so important!!! Whether we just think of what we would like to do or write them down...goals is something to look forward to and work toward!

BTW...I think this is my first time to your blog...feel free to stop by mine and say hello as well!

Jennifer said...

I like your definition of "finishing" your novel. It's true. I have lived in many a house (yes, moved in completely) where one room still had the furniture askew and pictures--well that sometimes took years.

And I'm going to check out your sidebar about Rent, because I've never seen it. I don't know if you are specifically talking about the movie or the play, but I think I need to rent the movie.

Beyond Words said...

Wow, Heather,maybe I should check your blog more often than once a day.

Your goals are elegant. You are live with both feet in God's dimension where beauty and creativity are not the means to an end, they simply...are...because they're part of the image of God.

I have one novel "finished"according to your definition and one I committed with my writers group to finish by summer's end. But something profound has happened to me spiritually and now I'm not sure if the foundation and the dry wall of these narratives are made of the right materials.

I'm unable to work on them right now. I've never had "writers block" before. This is different. I'm swimming under new water and I don't seem to need air anymore. When I surface, it won't be to breathe in, it will be to breathe out what God wants to interpret through me.

I covet your prayers.

Robin said...

Accountability....hmmmm....I wonder, is it more to get these things "done"....or is there more to it than that?

You're a blogfriend I've missed lately, isn't that WEIRD? I read you and I listen and I hear...something. And I'm drawn and I care. And that just sounds...ODD.

Are you drawing "us" in...exposing yourself...in part to feel connected to a community that "gets" you? I wonder.

I could've written what Peter or Michelle or Pamela or ALL your commentors said, they thought many of the same things I did. You know me, my instinct is humor, but with you....sometimes it's not. Sometimes its more of "me". Sometimes I loathe the fact I keep things so light at my place. The deep...the thoughtful...the contemplative 1) take longer but 2) expose more. And I'm quite the exhibitionist (lol), so it's strange that I'd care about the exposure. I guess part of that is protecting my husband, my children, but I dunno for sure.

Crap, I'm rambling now, but mainly I just want you to know...you're great, Heather.