07 August 2006

If I Only Had an English Accent

Come in, come in! Here you see I’ve decorated my living room with the fashionable Art Deprecation of Self. Yes, yes, Art Noveau, Art Decco, Concept Art, all out. Art Deprecation of Self is all the rage now. Pardon me while I indulge myself a bit. It’s been a bad writing weekend.
Do you ever look at your writing, your novel or play or article, and wonder if you have received any education whatsoever (of course, that is before passing the roadside sign announcing, “Hireing New Waittstaff Now”)? I’ve begun sending rejection letters with my submissions with a “Sign Here” Post-it sticky. Just trying to help.
If I had an English accent, my writing would improve immeasurably. It’s true. I am certain that I would be much cooler if I had an English accent. And being cooler would guarantee better writing. It doesn’t matter which variety, Jason Statham, Colin Firth, Julie Andrews. Any dialect will do. I drink tea every afternoon, but to no avail. Maybe I confuse my tongue with the assortment of teas: English Breakfast, Green, Chai, Earl Grey, Orange Mandarin. Too bad I can’t fake an accent. I can hear it in my head. In fact, when I read an N.T. Wright paper, I can’t get through without literally hearing him speak the paper in its entirety in his lilting Oxford inflection. Sigh. If I only had and English accent.


Mirtika said...

Charming blog. Enjoyed the visit. Found you just by browsing and following links. :)

Mir<--who wishes she had an English accent, too (and who fakes it, badly, on occasion while reading out loud. I usually fake Emma Thompson's nasally one.)

sage said...

Having a southern accent certainly ain't helped my writing, but it does create conversations in that I haven't lived in the south for nearly 20 year.

willowtree said...

Thanks for dropping by.

I'm an Aussie and as a consequence can speak with a fairly authentic English accent, also Irish and Scottish and I've got to tell you it doesn't help. Regardless of how I sound, I still write like shit.

A point of interest, I've actually been to the real 'Green Gables' where the book was set.

Erin said...

Or... you could just move to England where YOUR accent suddenly becomes the fascination. I suspect though, that our accent is perceived more like the cute country bumpkin cousin than it is one of distinction, propriety and intelligence.

And all'n'us wear coonskin caps ovah heyh too, ya'll.

Robin said...

From now on, when I read you, I shall do so imagining you with a Renee Zellweger as Bridget Jones kinda accent:).

Heather, when I read you, it is never a "good" time to post (I am growling); as I write right now, three little boys are sword fighting in our playroom (where the computer is located), and because it's 98 degrees and 300% humidity, I don't have the heart to kick them outside (sigh...). In other words, you have some provocative posts I'd love to comment on, but once again, I'll have to postpone it. THOSE kind of posts require concentration (lol), not the distraction of Pirates of the Carribbean three feet away. Hmmm, make that Star Wars, they're lightsabers.

And for the record, you're a great writer, rejection smection!

Heather said...

Robin, I think I would definitely improve with a Bridget Jones' accent!
Who won the duel?
WillowTree, is Green Gables everything I imagine?

Robin said...

It really was funny...the duels, I mean. They had all kinds of "rules", and they beat the ever-livin' crap outta each other (they're 12, 13 & 9...not quite so little as it sounds). There are several rounds, and I think they all win at some point--they just keep going til they do. One of them (not my son) is a fencer (is that the correct term?). He defintiely has the upper hand, but my boys have moxie ;) (and a VERY competitive determination).