21 August 2006

My Evil

I would love to blame it on my technological frustrations, but it is my evil that caused the problems all the same. A project needed to be finished by today. It required installing a media software package on my computer, editing video clips, and burning the finished product on DVD. Every one of the steps went wrong, Murphy’s Law wrong. I won’t go into the messy details. It would only serve to raise my blood pressure and bore you. Let’s just say it was a late night.
My husband, being the amazing man he is, stayed up with me. When something else would go wrong and my tears flowed and my voice raised and my body tensed, he would cradle me in his arms, kiss my temple, listen to me vent, and pray for me. He lifted the lid of the pot and turned the temperature down a notch when the spaghetti sauce began to leak over the sides. The pressure and heat and steam released, and the sauce settled. But still, my evilness simmered. It simmered, working its flavor through every limb and sinew of me like the Pharisees’ yeast.
The first two burnings of the DVDs gone kaput, we left the third one going while we crawled into bed. Chris held me and cuddled until I had settled down. This morning, he told me I am beautiful. All I see is the marring and burn marks from my evil. I went out to check the DVD. Something had burned! I held my breath and put the disc in the DVD player. Something had burned, but it wasn’t a correct burning. I was at my wits-end. No, I had lost them somewhere around 2:30 this morning. Chris and I returned to my computer to examine this new problem. I cried again. My evil, which had simmered and taken hold of the entire sauce, now boiled full over, now reached its zenith. I grabbed the nearest remote and hurled it across the room. I smote it, as would read in my translation of The Illiad, and it lay in three pieces. The spaghetti sauce covered the stove and the walls and the floor. It messied all the clean dishes and bowl of fruit.
Where is my Christian trust? Where is my patience and endurance and goodness? Lost over a computer? While others suffer hunger and imprisonment and beatings, it only takes a computer gone awry for me.

Side note: my husband calmly restored the remote, working his technological healing powers. He still loves me for reasons I cannot understand. Maybe its not for reasons as in qualities, but for reason as in commitment.

8 comments:

Michelle Pendergrass said...

Just so you know--you're not alone. I'll post the story on my blog one day.

My husband wears cowboy boots. Plain simple Ropers Like these. He used to work midnights and one morning when he went to sleep and I got up, we had this HUGE fight. Well, I sometimes throw things when I get mad. The closest thing to me was his boot. Yep. I picked it up and with my second base softball arm, threw it to the left of his head (knowing I wouldn't hit him.) To my surprise the boot's heal stuck in the wall.

Ok you can stop laughing now.

He looks over at this boot about 5 inches from his face and gently pulls it out of the wall, lays it on the floor, and pulls the covers over his head and goes to sleep.

That evening we made up, I begged forgiveness and we had a good laugh. When I went to bed that night, I pulled the covers back and stared. White stuff all over my pillow. I wiped it off and just sat there and said, "WHAT is this stuff all over my pillow?"

Drywall.

Heather said...

That made me laugh. Shamefully, I have to admit that the remote incident was not the first. Often, you can see music flying through the room when I've been practicing piano. It ain't pretty.

Robin said...

First, a question for Michelle--HOW DO YOU DO LINKS ON COMMENTS? I've tried, but they seem not to work the same way as on posts...

Second, dear one, we've ALL tasted that pot before. What a blessing to know our husbands...and our Father, love us in spite of an occasional bad meal.

Written with much depth and emotion, I felt every word. {{Hugs}} to you (and your sweet hubby) from across the blogosphere :).

willowtree said...

You broke a remote? You evil bitch!

Dineen A. Miller said...

For Heather: Awwww...
For Michelle: ROTFL!!!
For Heather: Awwww...
For Michelle: ROTFL!!!
For Heather: Awwww...
For Michelle: ROTFL!!!
For Heather: Awwww...
For Michelle: ROTFL!!!
For Heather: Awwww...
For Michelle: ROTFL!!!

You get the picture.

tranthegirl said...

This post confirms two things I know. 1) Computers are evil (says the ex-CS major and artist) and 2) Chris complements/balances you well and is a gift to you from God.

Robin said...

Heather...I'm writing a post right now and linked to this post (lol); I'm having that kind of day TODAY!! You wrote it much more beautifully, but check back later for my version.

Mirtika said...

I have totally lost it when the computer or car goes wonky. I could probalby handle a cancer diagnosis better than mechanical or tech things going wrong.

And when I get frustrated, I cuss. I cuss big. But my husband remains calm and uncussy and tries his best to handle the computer. (He's as ignorant of cars as I am, so he's no help there.)

This is not something I'm proud of, the temper and cussing. But part of me keeps thinking if I hit the right bad word, it'll shock the puter into working right. :D

Oh, well.

Mir