05 April 2007

Things with "lots of"

Today we're playing the Pyramid game (man, I loved that show, that and Jeopardy).
By the way, I have 911 on standby. Two posts on the same day two weeks in a row.
But I have to tell you about two things in my life.
One - my first list. On Sunday, I planned (and executed, I might add) a barbeque at a nearby lake (technically man-made reservoir) for my husband's birthday (which isn't really near the date of the celebration, but who's counting?). To get everything just right, I made a list. For those of you who don't know me, I hate lists. Detest them. Didn't even make them during finals week for grad school. And the one or two times I started a list, I lost it before I could even finish the list. But for this, I made a list. A good one, I might add. I never lost it (maybe I still have it - I should find it and frame it). It was a long list with lots of items on it. I used it. I got everything I needed and got it to the picnic site (which has never happened before). Everything went smashingly. I'm so proud.
Except that now my husband knows I can do it. I need to mess up royally next time to keep the stats up.
The second thing I have to tell you is that I'm going crazy. You need to know this in case of anything that may happen in the next few days. Ants, yes, ants, tiny little "harmless" (uh-huh) ants have taken over my kitchen. Entirely. In my cabinets. In my pantry. In my dishwasher (and the clean dishes). All over the floor. On the stove. And then, on the other side of the house, they carpet the bath tub. You turn on the faucet, and they pour out, almost as many ants as there is water. Nothing stops them. I have spent hours this week cleaning with bleach (cleaning the same thing over and over and over again). I vacuum them up every time I walk into the kitchen (mainly to create a viable walking path to the sink or something). I've tried vinegar. I've tried cinnamon (a suggestion for someone - I'm desperate). I walk out of the kitchen and find them on my shirt (because I dared to lean against the counter for a moment) and up my legs (because I dared to walk - so, yes, I have ants in my pants). My friend, Michelle (of Misfit Writer notoriety) wrote a story of an alcoholic who goes crazy - she sees ants crawling all over her and into her veins and up to her brain. I discovered this week that I am this character (except that I gave up alcohol for Lent so I haven't had a drink in how many days?). Ants all over.
I'm going crazy.
Sorry for the non-thinking post right after my nominations!


Willowtree said...

I'm amazed you even managed to write a post under these circumstances. I hate ants!!! And to have them to the extent you describe would have me blubbering in a corner.

I don't offer to do this very often (mostly because I'm a non-theist), but I'll pray for you.

Heather said...

Well, wonders never cease.

Michelle Pendergrass said...

I know it really shouldn't be funny, but you know how warped I am right?

Pamela said...

boric acid.
keep it away from other animals, pets.etc.

wolfbaby said...

ahhh we must be having the same thing going on cause we are having an ant problem at my house as well... i have joined you in the crazy ranks.. when you find a solution please please please share it..

glad the party went well!!

Heather said...

My neighbor gave me a can of Bengal, which she swears by. I'm going to spray it right before we leave to go out of town for the weekend (I hate using pesticides, so I figure we'll get out of the house). I'll let you know how it turns out!
Boric acid? Acid?

Claudia said...

seeing ants swarming gives me the heebyjeebies, even when I know that they are harmless. good luck.

San said...

Aren't you supposed to cover them in chocolate and eat them?

Erin said...

I think you see the ants because you've been laying off the alcohol.

Try drinking a glass of wine and then check to see if there are ants when you're done. If you still see them, drink another glass.

Surely, in the end, you won't be seeing anymore ants. Maybe pink elephants, but the ants will be gone. Mission accomplished.

Lists: I also dislike them. They keep me in line though. A necessary evil.

Heather said...

i like the wine idea. come tomorrow - i'm trying it! see - that's why you get the thinker award!
covered in chocolate? well, maybe after whole lotta wine.